[personal profile] mousefeathers
March is slightly melancholy at my house, at least lately;  the 23rd is Don's birthday, and this year, my kid starts pre-deployment training a few days later.

I don't have any huge melt-downs, of course, but the thought "my Donald's gone" still has a wail lurking somewhere inside my chest.  However, I do have an amulet of sorts that helps.  The week after he died, I went out to check on Gene, who was in the throes of a horrible reaction to compazine after his knee replacement (it had yet to be diagnosed, and poor Gene was dreadfully ill--it took something like three trips to the ER to convince the doctors to try to figure out what was going on), and stopped at Walgreen's to pick up a get-well card or something.  I checked out the cute notions section by habit, and there was a Beanie Baby frog, mottled pastels and loopy fabric, and cuter'n all get out.

I picked it up, smiled a bit, put it back down--then picked it up, and took it to the check-out.  I needed this one last frog for da Frog, somehow.  I put it on the dashboard, chin propped on its crossed hands, legs sprawled out behind.  Even with both eyes open, it seemed to be winking at me, just like Don might have, if he'd been shrunk to fit right there.

It's been with me ever since.  I have to pull it back up close to me at frequent intervals, naturally, because inertia chases it up to the windshield regularly, and it's tag is faded to rose instead of bright red, but it's still there, somehow making the sadness a little less sharp, reminding me that he was in my life, and it was Good.

It is my Froggian Angel of the Dashboard.
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mousefeathers

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